Friday, October 21, 2011

On Road Closures

The road in front of the church is common route for folks to bypass the the traffic on the more major routes through town. While the portion of the road immediately in front of the church is open, the road past the church is being dug up for water main repair.

The construction workers have put up very visible signs to indicate there is construction and that the road beyond the church is closed.

From my desk, I look out onto the road mid-way between the "road closed" sign, and the construction. It is actually, the precise point at which a driver realizes that the sign they just drove pass was indeed accurate and the road beyond the church is impassable due to large trenches and construction vehicles.

This has been the situation for about 2 months now, and not a day goes by where a good number of drivers who believe they are the exception have a 'teachable moment' and are forced to turn around and retreat.

This action all goes down right outside my window.

I write this post as a small pack of BMW's admit defeat and are considering how to turn three cars around in one driveway.


-C.D. Clements

Sunday, August 07, 2011

On public speaking

I am developing a new theory on public speaking.

I hypothesize that the better someone becomes at public speaking, the less people feel the need to encourage this individual after an incident of public speaking.

In short: the less people tell you how well you did, the better your presentation actually was.

According to my new theory, I feel today's sermon went medium well.

-C.D. Clements

Friday, June 17, 2011

On Bank Service

Today I was at TD to submit some funds from our youth’s 30 Hour Famine event. There was a good amount of paper work, as well as much small change, and so I was with the teller for about 20 min doing deposit-type stuff.

This gave me time to notice that more than half of clients were asked if they had any weekend plans.

When he initially asked about my upcoming weekend, I had thought my teller had a keen interest in my life . [Oh boy!]

Then I discovered I was nothing but a means toward a happy manager and a good customer relations grade. [Oh boy…]

What a roller coaster of emotion.

-C.D. Clements

Friday, June 10, 2011

On work

Sometimes I waste time at work and will probably need to stay late to get it all done.

-C.D. Clements

Friday, April 01, 2011

On Stoners

Three apartments down from me live a bunch of stoners. And they have a patio. When Nyssa and I had first moved in for the summer, they could often be heard out on the patio until the morning hours yelling about stuff and carrying on about Pink Floyd and how stoned they once got. (No word of a lie; I know it seems stereotypical, but it is true)

It seems they take a winter sabbatical starting in November (presumably to brush up on lesser known Floyd albums) but with the warmer spring temperatures, I noticed them today back on the porch.

My senior pastors tells me I should make friends with them and tell them about Jesus. I think Jesus would draw the line at 12:00am shouting.

Anyway, all this to say... wish me luck this summer.

-C.D. Clements

Wednesday, March 09, 2011

On good advice

In small towns or communities, remember not to talk about others in public places. Even if it is mostly business.

Although my most recent experience of this rule is not as bad as the time I made fun of the women's volleyball team while they were at the adjacent table.

-C. D. Clements

Wednesday, February 09, 2011


I have recently become aware of a new underground movement amongst Tyndale Alumni [between class of 2004 - 2006]. It is called FIGHT CLAP. In careful research, I have discovered the following references and descriptions to FIGHT CLAP:

Here at FIGHT CLAP we may not have it all figured out. We may not have it all together. We may not even know what ‘it’ is. But this is a safe place to explore FIGHT CLAP. It’s a safe place to get to know FIGHT CLAP. It’s a safe place to come at things from the side, to figure out things as you go along. And the beauty of it is in the way we’re trying to do this together. Well, sometimes it’s beautiful. Other times? Not so much. But it’s always real. And we like that .
FIGHT CLAP represents over 320 nonprofit providers of long-term care and housing services for 65,000 elderly residents across Pennsylvania. FIGHT CLAP is committed to helping its members provide quality care efficiently and effectively for the individuals and families they serve. In an age of impersonal care, FIGHT CLAP members put people before profits.
In the criminal justice system, clapping based offences are considered especially heinous. In New York City, the dedicated detectives who investigate these vicious felonies are members of an elite squad known as FIGHT CLAP. These are their stories.
These are the voyages of the starship FIGHT CLAP. It's continuing mission, to FIGHT strange new CLAPs. To seek out new FIGHTS and new CLAPS. To FIGHT CLAP where no one has FIGHT CLAPPED before.
When I find myself in times of trouble, FIGHT CLAP comes to me, speaking words of wisdom, let it be. And in my hour of darkness FIGHT CLAP is right in front of me, speaking words of wisdom, let it be.
Yours in uncovering the real truth behind FIGHT CLAP,
-C.D. Clements

Monday, January 03, 2011

On Offices /size

My friend Pat has a new job and a new office. He reports having a bigger office than mine. I'll not repeat the saying about sizes and functions. But I will challenge Pat to beat the ministry potential of this office layout:

-C.D. Clements