On Having Thighs

I subscribe to a Photoshop disaster blog.
This one is great:



-C.D.Clements

On "What Saint Paul Really Said"

(Watch out Tom Wright. Here I come.)



So, apparently Paul's words in Romans chapter 7 “I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do...” are chronically misinterpreted. Most will take this section of scripture as words of solace/permission for sin in their lives.

However my professor and a commentator I have to read for the class both argue that these words are a “Diatribal Speech in Character.” This means that these words are spoken in the persona of another to illustrate a point. In this particular case Paul's character is one who adheres to the Law (which shows sin) as opposed to the one who is under the law of the Spirit (which is characterized by “no condemnation”). This means that in Paul's experience, “Life through the Spirit” does not include compulsive sin that overrides the will of the believer.

This is cool, because things like Jesus' speech to the seven churches in Revelation (and the other general directives of the N.T.) is not a calling beyond our reach. Provided we are living according to what Paul describes in chapter 8.

Lastly, it is also worth noting that despite the frequency of the word “do” in chapter seven, Paul never ends up accidentally committing the classic “do-do” joke.

Life through the Spirit and not getting caught in do-do; great stuff.

-C.D. Clements.

On things I got, but am not.

The Killers have this song called “All these things that I've Done”. If you know this song, you will be familiar with the tag line of I got soul but I'm not a Soldier. The game here is to make fun of the song by thinking up things you own, but of which you are not.

The Paradigm is: I got [noun] but I'm not a [noun which sounds similar].

And here are some good ones that have been thought up:

I got Ham, but I'm not a Hamster.
I got Wit, but I'm not a Witness.
I got Class, but I'm not a Classroom.
I got Pans, but I'm not a Pancake.


What have you got, but are not?

-C.D. Clements.

On being an Atheist.

Catchy title eh? I am not an atheist, but I found a great blog written by someone who is.

http://friendlyatheist.com/

For handful of years now I have been reading the big names in Atheism, and the big names in Christian apologetics. I've taken a few classes, and always enjoy those Youtube video debates where people try to remain civil, while working hard to prove their various positions on God's existence.

Allow me to recommend this friendly atheist blog. The fellow is someone who is well thought out, and from my perspective, is able to offer credible critiques of the church. It also helps that he is a nice guy.

-C.D.Clements

My 27 hour adventure.

Setting: L.I.T. Canoe trip in Temagami

EARLY MORNING:
-Get up at 5:50 a.m.
-Breakfast, devotion, and then break camp.
-Travel 10 Km to reach the beginning of the Temagami River rapids.
- Do some moving water training before hitting the difficult segments of the River.
MID-MORNING:
-Hit first set of rapids. These are too dangerous for L.I.T. s to run. We portage all the gear, except canoes.
-Rob scouts the rapids. He and I run 4 canoes down, while the others portage the last two. Running these rapids is very intense. Very fast water for about ¾ of a Kilometer.
-Eat rushed lunch anticipating a long day of work.
AFTERNOON:
-Next set of rapids. Nyssa’s canoe is flipped and pined against a rock. We recover lost baggage (all of it, luckily!). Given these events we again portage all the gear. Rob kicks out the dent caused by the rock in this canoe.
-This time everyone who wants to runs these. I stern for a few who are less confident.
MID-AFTERNOON:
-Make it to third set of Rapids. These are about a Kilometer in length.
-Again, Portage all gear.
-I feel I am too exhausted to run these. Some of the L.I.T.’s step up.
-We get all the canoes half way down, but pause to scout the challenging bottom portion.
-Second canoe down flips: the L.I.T.s who flipped are quite scraped & bruised by rocks.
-Rob runs a few down himself.
DINNER HOUR:
-No time for dinner. I eat some snack food for energy however.
-Fourth canoes down flips. As John (an L.I.T.), who was sterning this particular canoe comes out of the water, he complains of a pain in his back.
-Rob lifts his shirt to reveal many cuts and scrapes. The most significant of these cuts is about 10 cm long and about 1.5 cm. deep!
-This is a bad situation. Rob is on the Satellite phone to make arrangements to get John to a hospital
-We portage the last two canoes.
EARLY EVENING:
-I am to paddle John to an access point Rob has found on the map. We will travel together as a group until John and I depart for this access point. I expect about 8 hours of paddling to get John out.
-We hit the last set of rapids. We are all to tired to do another portage.
-We run these fully loaded. No one flips.
-No open campsites are found. It is late in the day, and we pass 3 which are already taken. This does not bother me, as I will not be stopping for many more hours.
-I am very, very tired. John is unable to paddle due to the pain he is in.
-I take time to pray with John. The situation seems too overwhelming.
DUSK:
-With about 20 min left of light we see a lone cottage on the far shore. Rob paddles over to see if the group can camp on their lawn.
- We are not to camp on the cottages lawn (liability issues), but the cottager offers to guide us by motor boat to a campsite he knows of nearby. Rob mentions our situation with John.
NIGHT:
-It has been dark for about 45 min when we reach the site. The motor boat has a big light which illuminates the camp so we can get unpacked.
-I pray quickly while Rob asks if the motor boat could drive John and I to the nearest access point. There is supposed to be a camp vehicle which will meet us there.
-The motorboat agrees, and will be back in 20 min after he tells his wife where he will be going. This is very, very, very good news.
-When the motorboat returns John and I board with some possessions and a bag of gorp to share for dinner. We express our deep thanks to the man and his friend. They are chatty, and refuse any money for gas.
-We need to go slow and the boaters are wary of drift wood and shallows in the dark. It takes about an hour to reach the access point. This is a very cold ride as I do not have access to a sweater.
-We arrive at the access point. Nobody is there. There aren’t even any lights in the area. It is just a gravel path from the highway down to the water.
-The boaters refuse to just leave John and I (wow!) so we think about what we are going to do.
-We decide to walk along this highway as the boaters have an aunt who lives a little bit down.
-We get to the Aunt’s cottage, and she is having a campfire with her friends. John and I are grateful to warm up. I call camp and they say someone should be meeting us.
- Periodically, I run back to the access point to see if anyone has arrived. I am thinking that we are going to be there along time. I don’t know what to do at the aunt’s house because it is late, and I get the feeling these folks want to go to bed. I pray fervently that the camp vehicle finds us.
CLOSING IN ON MID-NIGHT:
-On one of my trips back to the access point, I return to discover the camp vehicle has arrived. I am soooo relieved.
-We drive our boater/rescue friends back to their boat.
-We leave for North Bay hospital
-John and I eat our gorp for dinner. It is strange but we have not felt hungry until this point.
EARLY MORNING:
-We arrive at the hospital. John is taken into to be looked at, but it is decided that he will have to wait for treatment.
-I also register to be looked at as I had developed pink eye on the first day of the trip.
-We wait 4 hours to be looked at. We cannot sleep in the waiting room; the chairs are far too uncomfortable.
DAWN:
-Both John and I have been treated. John has had both stitches inside the wound and on the surface of the wound to close it. I have just been prescribed some eye drops.
-We drive out of North Bay after breakfast at Tim Horton’s.
MORNING:
-It is 9:00, and we arrived back at camp.
-John and I have been awake for 27 hours.

Prologue:
I sleep from 9:00 until about 5:30. It is amazing.
At dinner we tell stories, and then I head down to the docks for some time with God.
Almost immediately I read the following passage; it speaks deeply to me:

Trust me in times of trouble and I will rescue you, and you will give me glory.
Psalm 50:15.

-C.D. Clements

On a Particular Aspect of Marriage

When you marry someone who has a seizable music collection, one finds oneself owning many additional albums without having had to purchase them. One of these albums I defaulted into owning is David Bowie's Reality. If I could influence your life in one way (dear reader), it would be to give Mr. Bowie a chance, and purchase this album for yourself. Artful modern rock with catchy melodies, and thoughtful lyrics.
It is wonderful to have married Nyssa, and to have married into a healthy Bowie collection.





-C.D. Clements

P.s. This post is mostly tongue-in-cheek, as it is said. Although if possible, do try to marry (or at least date) someone who owns this album, other Bowie albums, or at least some music you might like to listen to, but have not yet purchased.

On Graphing Different Things

I found this site online: http://crappygraphs.com/
You can make and view Crappy Graphs
Here are my favorite two:





-C.D. Clements

On how Shakespeare got me a Cupcake: 10 incredible degrees of separation!

1. Shakespeare wrote many plays which became famous.
2. More recently some people made a “Stratford Festival” which showcases his plays.
3. My friend's girlfriend went out to Stratford to make costumes for the festival.
4. Then my other friend's girlfriend went out to visit her.
5. As such, my friends mutually decided to have a 'boys only' night, seeing as their girlfriends were out of town.
6. I decided to attended this get-together, leaving Nyssa in North York.
7. Not wanting to be bored, Nyssa got together her friends for the same evening.
8. One of her friends happened to bring some cupcakes to the get-together.
9. Nyssa brought an extra cupcake home for me.
10. I ate the cupcake the next day.

You can clearly see the [semi]direct influence of Shakespeare on my recent life.
Who could have guessed the at effects of this man's life, even after all these years?




-C.D. CLements

On the following:

A reflection on the break up of Phish

From reading various news articles courtesy of Phish.net, catching various interviews such as Trey Anastasio on Charlie Rose, or the interviews on the “PHISH IT” documentary (to name a few sources), I feel I appreciate the decision to stop Phish.

From what I interpret, there was a 'spirituality' which was contained within Phish. This spirituality of Phish was an incorporation of all sorts of values in relationship with on another, and all of these at once in some sort of relationship with a higher power. These values certainly include community, celebration, creative expression, improvisation, joy, (to identify a few). Each of these saw their place in what the music was, and what Phish was. Over these values, through these values, and undergirding these values there was an esoteric scene of the divine presence. Similarly, over the music, through the music, and undergirding the music was this same sense of the divine presence... or as Trey comments, divine language. The spirituality of Phish was an incorporation, and intimate intertwining of these: the values, the music, and the divine, to the point where one is not easily seen and understood apart from the others.

As I understand it, over time Phish as a whole began to experience a rift (no pun intended) between what Phish was, and what this spirituality in its pure form intended Phish to be. From what I gather, there are a bunch of factors around this slow separation; factors both known and unknown. However at the time which the decision was made to dissolve Phish, there must have been an acknowledgment that Phish was slowly departing from this pure form. Phish was on a different trajectory than what Phish' original values would have informed. The options then would be to either continue the band, but only with the shell of the music, (as the core spirituality was missing), or to preserve the original spirituality and intent of Phish, by stopping Phish.

As such, I have come to think band made the right decision. As the less visible (and aural) aspects of Phish became 'unfocused' it seems like the whole thing became an abuse of what was intended, or pure.

While I am sad to never again hear any new Phish music, or to experience the Phish live experience, I think I really appreciate what the band members are doing now. It is as though each is following a path which seeks after what the hidden (mysterious, spiritual) things of life are leading them down. Following after the divine, and being true to the self are certainly noble pursuits. It would be a shame if the members of Phish were to fore go this pursuit in favor of keeping alive something which the spirit was not in.

-C.D. Clements

On the Mug of suspected Death

Pat got me a big mug for the 493 Christmas present exchange. (Also some tea to go in the mug; very thoughtful). But whenever hot liquids are placed in this mug, it emits alarming 'clicking'/'ping' sounds.

Nyssa thinks the mug is poisoned. I think it could be a tea activated time bomb. Pat is in North Bay, and cannot comment. (Clever Alibi?) Whatever the case, if you see me with large gashes on my face, and a bizarre fear of red mugs, then you will know what happened.

In such an event blame Pat, or Hallmark




-C.D.Clements

Three Posts in One Month: Paper Season is Here.

Some where along the time line of the month I became aware of the 'buy nothing Christmas'. Follow this link for some ideas.

My Personal Favorite:

Give Linux for Christmas! It's free and it works like a charm! These days, distributions include not only the operation system that runs your computer, but applications such as word processing, spreadsheets, picture and sound editing, etc. And give a hand installing it. It's not that it's too difficult, but some people's tech-savvyness is rather limited. —Gilles Pelletier

- C.D. Clements

On Something Nerdy and Neat.

This is a game. It can be found on line for free.

It is fun; yet it is simple.

It is a game for people who are both gamers and desert fathers.

-C.D. Clements

On All The Cool Places

Working Tyndale Maintenance, we (mainly myself) have a goal of being in as many restricted areas as possible before we move on from maintenance.

The only 'rule' to the contest is that an individual may only check off an 'area' when the individual has done legitimate maintenance work in the paticular area.

Here is the list of cool places I have been:

Roofs:
Gym
Cafeteria
Seminary
Hall of Missions
Chapel
6th Floor
Administrative:
Archives
Vault
All sorts of offices
President's Office
Library Work Rooms.
A few of those rooms in the basement filled with all sorts records
Facilities:
Boiler Room
Maintenance Shop (this is a given)
Electrical Room
Pump Room
Elevator Machinery Room (for the main lift)
Hydro Vault
Gardening Room (not very exciting)
Telephone Room
AV closets
Server Room
Heat Exchange Room
Services:
All over G&T cafeteria (including -17 Celsius meat locker)
Bookstore storage
Security Room
Other:
All Guest Rooms
All Female Washrooms (yuck)
6th Floor Kitchen
All Residence Storage Rooms

Only area left: The underground tunnel to Morrow Park!

-C.D. Clements

On a particular aspect of life

A romantic relationship is limited (ideally...) to the two individuals involved in this relationship.

This means that the relationship is exclusive. (Again, assuming that others are not free to get in on the action).

Therefore when in a group setting, a good thing to do is to try to be as inclusive as is reasonable.

All things considered, we want to have inclusive relationships (says Pioneer Camp) as opposed to exclusive ones.

I think this is why I don't like enthusiastic displays of public affection.

Unless they are artful.

-C.D. Clements

Casual Reviewing

Is this a remix of a 54-40 hit? No... it is Chris Clements' reviews of things he has encountered thus far throughout the summer, and which he feels are worth reviewing. A brief explanation, and then we begin.

To aid the reviewing process, each item will be ranked in three different categories, and be given a one sentence summary. Use the two handy reviewing aids in conjunction with each other for optimal performance.

Here are the three categories:

Category (A) : Humor

Rating system:
1 = Not Funny
2 = Worthwhile Funny
3 = Genuine Humor

Category (B) : Spiritual Content

Rating system:
1 = Pagan
2 = Average Zondervan Publishing Content
3 = Totally Kingdom of God

Category (C) : Awesome Factor

Rating system:
1 = Not Awesome
2 = Getting close to Awesome
3 = Awesome

THE ITEMS:

The Gift of Peace by Joseph Cardinal Bernardin
Score: Humor (1) Spiritual Content (3) Awesome Factor (2)
Short Sentence: Be inspired to know God in prayer, and a few other things.

Fantasy Images
Score: Humor (2) Spiritual Content (1) Awesome Factor (3)
Short Sentence: Replace your friend's desktop images for some entertainment (Nyssa Dhillon is a big fan).

Internet Reversi
Score: Humor (1) Spiritual Content (N/A) Awesome Factor (2)
Short Sentence: While not a high score in any of the rating categories, this little game can be played for hours on end. Also Will and Brad from the T.A.'s office can beat you at reversi any lunch hour.

Medeski Martin Wood (Jazz Trio)

Score: Humor (1) Spiritual Content (2?) Awesome Factor (3)
Short Sentence: Dig some pretty good jams; possibly get free tickets from some hippies to see M.M.W. at the Toronto Jazz Festival (this has only happened on one known instance: June 27 2007, to myself and Nyssa Dhillon).

Talking Heads: More Songs about Buildings and Food
Score: Humor (3) Spiritual Content (??) Awesome Factor (3)
Short Sentence: Hot Dog; everyone will like this album, from Tyndale Maintenance staff to house mates who went to North Bay for the summer.

Derek Webb: The Ringing Bell
Score: Humor (1) Spiritual Content (Mostly 3) Awesome Factor (2)
Short Sentence: See short sentence from the Talking Heads entry.

John Hodgman: The Areas of My Expertiese
Score: Humor (3) Spiritual Content (A little here, a little there) Awesome Factor (3)
Short Sentence: Be informed, in a humorous manner.

Eternal Wisdom from the Desert edited by Henry L. Carrigan Jr.
Score: Humor (1) Spiritual Content (3) Awesome Factor (3)
Short Sentence: Intense Spirituality from the third and fourth centuries.

Elder Scrolls IV - Oblivion
Score: Humor (1) Spiritual Content (1) Awesome Factor (3)
Short Sentence: Great Game. Fulfills all epic adventure needs in the modern 20 something male psyche.

The Heavenly Man by Brother Yun
Score: Humor (1) Spiritual Content (3) Awesome Factor (3)
Short Sentence: Intense spirituality from modern China.

-C.D. Clements

On Tyndale Maintenance: The Game

-A quick introduction-

While at work on any Tyndale Maintenance job, there is invariably a test of skill and cunning which presents itself with the given task. These tests of the Tyndale Maintenance worker range from that of colossal engineering, to the subtle, yet unexpected setback. Play as either Chris or Mark*, and realize the adventure and reward of Tyndale Maintenance in the comfort of your own home.
Set in the style of Chips Challenge (see windows 95) and the occasional adventure perspective, (see such great games as 'Kings Quest'; 'Space Quest'; 'Police Quest' and to a lesser extent 'Torin's Passage') Tyndale Maintenance The Game** promises actual fun for all, not just those who are 'maintainly' inclined.

-Overview of Demo Levels-

Level 5:

Debunk all of 5^th floor's bunk beds.

-Features corroded extenders, flimsy frames, tight spaces, severely wedged components, missing items, bruised fingers, and mismatched headboards.

-For extra difficulty select the 'Hot Muggy Day' option.

Level 7:

Chair Stuck in Closet of room 407

-Features a Chair which cannot be removed by conventional means. (Tip: use screwdriver and accessories to remove closet door, and closet door track)

Level 12:

Change Light Bulb at 12' in the air, above spinning fan.

-Earn WHIMIS points for timely completion.

Level 20:

Find things to do while Mark is busy all day making name plates.

-This excludes leaving early and doing any sort of thing which is interesting

Level 30:

Securely fasten bookstore fan to sub-ceiling by anchoring a piece of wood with hooks to concrete ceiling without breaking anything, or setting of heat detectors with are directly above ladder, and attached to the ceiling panel to the left of the fan which needs to be anchored. Task must be completed amongst mess of various (mainly network) cables running any given way between sub-ceiling and concrete ceiling. Also be ware of water pipe running above celling tiles where fan must be anchored.

-A limit of three trips to Maintenance shop total (as opposed to per person) permitted for this level.

-Actual In-Game Screen Shots-

-C.D. Clements

*Who incidentally was received recently into the grouping of people know as 'the best people ever'; this selection of people are not necessarily the famous/elite, but are certainly recognized as prestigious with regard to their manner and skill in conjunction with [well...] various sorts of things. (Like a 'For many are called, but few are chosen' sort of scenario).

**System Requirements:

Pentium 4 - 2.5 Ghz (or better)

512 MB Video

1 GB Ram

4 GB Hard Drive Space

48x DVD Drive

On What I Found Online

Options:
A) Penner's "Now and Not Yet" paradox in N.T. theology.

B) Prime example of Niebuhr's "Church Above the World" model of cultural interaction.

C) Carnal Nature in conflict with Spirit Nature

D) Different strokes for different folks

-C.D. Clements

On Pirated Pirate Internet Resources

Here are some internet resources for the scholarly pursuit of pirate linguistics. Enjoy!

A) How to talk like a Pirate, 1

B) How to talk like a Pirate, 2

C) International Talk Like a Pirate Day

D) Supplementary Vocab, and alphabet

E) Flash English/Pirate Translation

F) AOL research & learn : Pirate phrases

G) Pirate Keyboard

H) Instructional Video

-C.D. Clements

On The Best Of Halo 2

The 493 Cummer Avenue, Pat and Chris Halo 2 template for an optimal gaming session is comprised of many delicate elements. One of the most important and carefully considered components is the selection of music to which the game will be played. I have humbly comprised a ‘best of’ with regard to the Halo 2 sound track. It is our sincere hope that the incorporation of our research into great Halo 2 music will add new dimensions to your own Halo 2 experience.

The List: (alphabetically)

Elvis Costello – My Aim is True

Features classic Costello styled music, strong melodies, and a neat acoustic selection of bonus tracks.

Jars of Clay – Good Monsters

This new Jars of Clay album sends Christian music into the much beloved world of new ‘indy’ rock. Reminds us of stuff like Cold Play mixed with SufJan and some other things too. Track 8 is the best.

John Mayer – Continuum

Courtesy of Paul Randell; this is John Mayer as heard not catering to the musical needs of adolescent girls. Good mix for rocking; one step down from ‘rocking out’.

New Pornographers – Electric Version, Twin Cinema

Stellar Canadian band, regardless of what Dan Jupp’s cousin thinks. This is feel good, foot taping music.

Phish – Billy Breathes, Slip Stitch and Pass

Phish… who knew? Highlights include a well refined studio recording (Billy Breathes) and a great live album (Slip Stitch and Pass). The ladder is liked because of a Talking Heads cover which kicks the album off. The great jams will cause your Halo 2 experience to run incredibly smooth.

The Roan – Ambient Compilation

This is the music which stared it all. Jason Rainville made me an ambient mix in third year, and we would swear by this mix all through out the Tyndale Halo 2 years. Good mix of creepy ambient, and chill ambient with a beat.

Talking Heads – Fear of Music, Remain in the Light, True Stories

Music which is great, and a little out of the ordinary. Fear of music comes with many killer lines which can be quoted in various contexts for great inside jokes. Remain in the light is a treat as well. True Stories gives an enjoyable look at the 80’s from the talking head’s perspective. ‘Speaking in Tongues’ could have been in this list as well, but we haven’t given it the chance it probably deserves.

-C.D. Clements

On the Conference

(click for larger view)

A few points from the Restoring Justice conference

A) Tony Campolo’s ideas about Red Letter Christians. This was a theme which could be found throughout the event, and originally posted by Lewis on his blog. Follow .:this link:. for an interview by Campolo on CBC’s the Hour.

B) It is not necessary to be a hippy to be a Christian. But adopting various hippy ideas really helps. There was a large emphasis on community and caring for others from a community.

C) Not at all related to the conference’s theme, but playing in the band was quite an experience. I never worship and experience God like I do from behind a kit. I am not sure what that is about, but it happens almost every time I play in a worship setting. I propose that playing drums is a very mystical experience…

Here are some links which are related:

Darryl’s Conference Notes

Epiphaneia – Session Syndication

J. Locke’s Reflection

N.A. Dhillon's Reflection

-C.D. Clements